The Bait & Switch.

  It is 3 a.m. and I should be sleeping.  But I can't.  Instead, I feel like puking.

  Today, while busy feeding Noah his breakfast, my future daycare provider calls me to let me know there have been some changes.  Due to the moment of this conversation, I wasn't able to ask for the clarification I needed to make sense of her, in certain situations, limited vocabulary.  And this certainly was one of those situations.
  So I wrote her an e-mail with many questions asking for clarification.  Her reply came at midnight, so I didn't read it until Noah got up @ one and my mind has been racing and blood has been boiling since.
  Firstly, she tells me that she has found a bigger place for her daycare.  She is not moving, but opening a daycare elsewhere.  I find this weird.  More importantly, this will add 20 minutes to my commute each way when before, she was just on the way.  This I understood from our conversation and could be tolerated.
  Secondly, because she is in the midst of finishing her last practicum for being licensed, she will be taking in more kids when she finishes her program.  The biggest selling feature was the fact that Noah was practically going to be getting one on one care as she took care of him and her aid took care of the 2 and sometimes 3 other toddlers. That was when we had our interview. Now her ratio is 6 kids to 2 adults. After certification, it will be 10:2.  Somewhere in the conversation I heard the dreaded words "group daycare".  WHAT!?!?!  During our face to face interview I specifically remember her discussing how she didn't like her practicum experience with group daycare and how it isn't ideal for infants. So, what the hell changed?  This left a sour taste in my mouth that I have been struggling to digest all day.   
  Then I read the e-mail. 
  Not only will I have to drive further and Noah will get less individual attention, her price just went up $100!!!!

  And now I feel like puking.
  Puking with disbelief.
  Puking with lack of control.
  Puking with anger.
  Puking with panic.

  She ends the email with "Let me know if this information is okay for you" and "Thank you for your understanding" and I just want to yell "I don't understand and NO, it's NOT OKAY!"

  So instead of breathing into a paper bag, because, let's be honest, who the hell has paper bags anymore anyway, I have spent the last hour researching and firing off e-mails to 16 daycares that posted on Craigslist.  All I have left to do now is wait....I hate waiting.  You can't control it.  And although I don't really feel like puking anymore, my throat is still tight and I am still shaking.  So now I will try to go back to bed hoping that the "FUUUUUUUUUUCK!" that is screaming over and over in my head will cease long enough for me to fall asleep.

 Wish me luck.