Empty Bed Syndrome

Last Saturday, as I rocked Noah to sleep, I decided that tonight was the night that he begin sleeping in his crib. He just seemed so calm and comfortable with sleep that I felt it was time.

For months I have done a variety of things to ensure that this transition be as seemless as possible.
1) He falls asleep  to the same music.  I even have it in my Blackberry for when we are out of town.  The music runs throughout the night to lull him back to sleep should he wake up.
2) I have a custom made reed diffuser in his room to release the calming aroma known as Baby Soothe from Essence.  (If you go there and get it, know that I am the reason that this wonderful scent is now available for the reed diffuser.)  This scent has been paired with sleep for quite a while as I have been spraying my nursing pillow with it since December and even have the electric scent ball (this too assures consistancy when away).
3) I have been rocking him to sleep in his room so that he would begin to associate his room (and all the above) with sleep.
4) I began placing him in his crib for the few naps that he would actually take.

So it's been over a week and I would say that it's been quite the success.

For the first two nights he woke up only once and I nursed him back to sleep. For the nights that followed, he would wake up an hour later and we would start our sleep ritual again (nurse & rock).  However, on three occasions, he actually fell back asleep without needing to nurse!  I am excited about this because it shows that he is getting ready for the next transition...falling asleep without the boob.  Which in selfish terms means...daddy can get up and put you back to sleep.  More importantly, he is getting to this point himself, without the help of any training.  And this, re-iterates the major point of my last sleep blog: let your child's cues determine the next step in your training (if you even consider what I am doing as training).

I am proud of him for making the transition smoothly and for, on at least two occasions that I am aware of, soothing himself back to sleep after letting out a little whine or two.  This means that he has truly accepted his crib as his place of sleep.

It is I who is going through withdrawal. 
I miss hearing him breathing beside me and being able to see, when ever I opened my eyes, that he is alright and sleeping.  Despite having the monitor right beside me, there are times I imagine hearing things that I don't.
I miss cuddling with him...and have contemplated on more than one occasion bringing him back to bed with me.  But I know that would be a step backward.

More than anything, it makes me appreciate our middle of the night feeds.  And so I will admit, I am really in no rush to wean them.  It is during this time that I watch my precious angel asleep in my arms.  It is during those moments that I rock a little longer than I should in order to treasure the feel of his warmth, his baby scent, the sound of his breath and the peaceful look on his face.  I am all too aware that this is just a little blip in our time together and that all too soon, this part of our lives will be just a memory.