Sometime during the first week of Noah's life, I went to Chapters and bought not one, but two books to help guide me through his first year of life. This was certainly brought on by my innate thirst for knowledge paired with the "Oh-my-God-I-don't-know-anything!" insecurity of a brand new mom.
At first, I found them to be quite educational and reassuring. It was nice to read ahead and get an idea of what to expect. We seemed to be progressing nicely and the books seemed fairly accurate. Then life got a little busier as I tried to accomplish some housework during my days and I found that I didn't have as much time as I wanted to keep up with the week by week readings. And somewhere along the way, we deviated from the schedule.
So the last time I indulged in a little lavatory literature, as this is where these books have been demoted to, I perused the milestones of weeks past and boy was a shocked...and temporarily disappointed. And instead of leaving the bathroom relieved, as most of us do, I felt rather worried.
Here are some examples:
Week 37: crawls while one hand holds an object...ummmm, nope.
manipulates and drinks from a cup...does a sippy cup count?
Week 38: walks with adults holding hands...does jumping non-stop count?
Week 39: crawls up stairs...I am still waiting for crawling period.
Week 40: stands with little support...I am just glad he's finally sitting with no support!
Perhaps your baby is doing all these things but mine isn't and, until reading up on these little things, I thought that we were doing just fine. This then lead me to compare Noah to the other babies I know...some of which are already walking without adult help! And then the guilt set in...I am obviously not stimulating him enough. I have been neglectful of his development! (As a teacher, this is absolutely abhorrent!)
It's been a few weeks since my self-depreciating bathroom reading and I have re-evaluated these so-called milestones along with reading the fine print which states "Your baby is unique...it'll make you crazy if you let yourself get caught up in comparing... developmental changes are merely estimates...representing an average...deviation from 6-10 on either side is perfectly normal...learn what is normal for your baby."
Oooooooooooooooooooooooh!
Oops!
So Noah may not be combining different syllables when he jabbers, may not play patta-cake or peek-a-boo. He may not be crawling or cruising along furniture nor waving hello/good-bye or blowing us kisses. And although he does "ma-ma-ma" and "da-da-da" somewhat affectionately, I am pretty sure that Darren and I could be either or.
But Noah is one of the happiest babies you will ever meet. When he smiles at you, which he does often, his eyes light up and he means it. When he is rolling around with a treasured toy you can hear him giggle. He kicks enthusiastically and revs his little motorbike wrists all the time to show his excitement.
He is a very social child who would rather watch what other's are doing and interact with people. He will often watch someone until they make eye contact just so he can flash them a smile or begin laughing.
He is a good eater and is, more often than not, sleeping through the night.
He has a gentle soul and studies people and toys thoroughly before playing with them.
He is patient and loving and, even when he is sick and puking, manages to smile as if to console his incredibly worried mother. (Especially if it is her driving that caused his motion sickness...perhaps a whole other entry.)
He IS the best thing in my life.
And everyday he is growing, learning and enriching our lives so we must be doing something right.
So I have decided to stop reading up on the milestones and use these books as a medical problem solving reference, or perhaps as bathroom decor. Because it all comes down to this:
It is such a blessing that Noah chose me to be his mom. And there is not a day that goes by when both Darren and I aren't aware of what a gift he is.
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