The Longest 72 Hours of My Life.

  This weekend an extended family member is participating in the Penticton IronMan triathlon.  As crazy as that is, it is even crazier that Darren has taken Noah up to Kelowna for three days to stay with his parents, show his support and give me some much deserved time off.

  I want to make it quite clear that this was not my idea.  In fact, I told Darren that I would prefer that he stay home and just take care of Noah enough to allow me the freedom to do the things I need.  But I think that Darren had something to prove to himself...that he could take care of Noah alone.  Although, let's be honest, he is also in the company of his parents and a houseful of other relatives that can lend a hand.

  Truth is, this has been very hard on me...and it is only our second night apart.

   Yesterday, I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I nursed Noah for the last time before they drove off.  And as he sat buckled in his car seat, watching his parents hug, I saw his smile fade into an expression of worry because he had never seen his mommy like that.  I quickly wiped the tears away and tried to put on a happy face while telling him he was going to go on an adventure and have a great time at Grandma and Grandpa's.  I don't think that either of us was comforted.

  I spent my first 10 minutes alone in tears.  It was going to be the first time since his conception that we would be apart over night.  I understood why, but would he?

  But the night wasn't spend sulking because soon after, two of my closest girlfriends joined me for a night of drinks, games, good conversation and a lot of laughs.  We stayed up until 3 a.m. and woke up just in time to go to our noon massage appointments.  So I did enjoy myself immensely.

  However, it is midnight.  And I miss my little man sooooo much.  Several times, I have had the urge to jump in the car and drive the 3.5 hours just to see him, to hear him, to hold him, to nurse him and to watch him sleep.  

  So here I am, sitting in front of the computer screen with a heavy heart, knots in my stomach, tears rolling down my cheeks and my breasts leaking.  And I can't help but think, even though I had a great time with my friends and will get two days to go to the school and get ready for September, it just isn't worth being without my son.

  Anyway, I better go pump...again.

 This is a picture of Noah cheering Uncle Dave on. 

Note his decore, his bib and yes, left over lunch on his face.