Growing Up, the 2nd Time Around.

  As Noah was going through the stages of infancy, I enjoyed every moment and celebrated every milestone. Things are a little different this time around with Élize.  Lately, with each milestone that passes, a twinge of sadness creeps into my moment of pride.

A newborn favorite outfit

Her New Year's Outfit

  I became aware of this when I went through her extensive wardrobe to put away the 3-6 month clothes and bring out the two boxes of   6-9 month clothes.  As I folded the freshly washed "new" duds, it struck me that she was getting bigger.  As I put away the "old" clothes, I felt like I was saying goodbye to my newborn.

Her 1st Impression of "Solids"

  Following with the 6 month right of passage, she has begun to eat "cereal".  The first two days were a little awkward as she would practically nurse on the spoon, so it took 3 to 4 scoop and wipes to get one little spoonful down.  But now she has got it down pat (another expression that makes no sense).  In fact, she will fuss if we aren't shoveling it in fast enough.  Today, we included some freshly puréed acorn squash.  I've never eaten it, but she sure seemed to enjoy it.  And although this move to "solids" means that I don't have to nurse as much, it means that, eventually, I WON'T HAVE TO NURSE!  I am sure that some day, this idea will bring me much happiness but right now, it makes me sad.  I like our bonding time during nursing.  I love knowing that I am still giving her life.  Right now, she is doing this super cute (although somewhat annoying because it's not really productive) thing were she pops off the breast, stares at me until I look down and then gives me the HUGEST smile when we make eye contact.  It's almost as if she is saying "Thanks mommy!  This is sooooo good!"  Seriously, she has the same look on her face as Noah does when I give him ice cream just because.

Practicing her Independence. 

  And then there are those other little milestones, holding up her head, head up while on tummy, rolling, and sitting.  Although we haven't conquered the sitting milestone yet, she can hold her own for a good 10 seconds if nothing distracts her.  Further proof that she is gaining more and more independence...from me :(

  But I think what spurred me into feeling the need to blog about this was the Springification of her carseat (which thank goodness, is still an infant seat as I am not ready for graduation into a forward facing seat).  Off came the fleece lined bundleme cover, and on came the pretty pink bundleme lite cover (which, by the way, I got for a $3 steal at the last swap meet).  I sat there, holding on to the warmer cover wondering what I was going to do with it.

  See, when the fleece lined cover came off when Noah was a baby, I knew to pack it up because, eventually, another baby was going to come along.  This time, I am not so sure.  Daddy is happy with two.  He says we are done.  But I am not so sure that my uterus has completely closed up shop yet.  And perhaps that is why her growing up is leaving me a little hollow.

  We have had this conversation many times, mostly because people have asked.  All I know is this:  I can't for surely say that I want to have another (but if I do, I'm gonna try a water birth) but I can't say that I don't want one either.

  Anyone know of a reliable psychic?